Sat, October 8, 2016 at 12:47 pm GMT
Hello Everyone
I would like to share with you about self esteem
Self-esteem is an awareness that we are equal to the obstacles placed in front of us. Self-esteem is confidence in our ability to think, confidence in our ability to cope with the basic challenges of life, and confidence in our right to be successful and happy. People with appropriate levels of self-esteem are assured in their right to feel worthy, enjoy the fruits of their efforts, and assert their needs and wants.
Self-esteem is not merely a luxury- it is a need. A need is something we require to function effectively. We do not merely want food and water, we need them; without them, we die.
We may not need self-esteem to survive, but we do need it to thrive.
STEPS OF BUILDING SELF ESTEEM
the development of self-esteem is a lifelong task. From the moment we are born, we are all developing, refining and changing our sense of personal identity and self-acceptance.Here are some steps that can help us improve our self-esteem:
Focus on your strengths, not shortcomings - Using self hatred to 'motivate' yourself to change can be very damaging. Forgive yourself for your mistakes and focus more on your strengths than your weakness. Don't put yourself down and don't beat yourself for any lack of skill or any weakness.
Maintain a gratitude diary - Make a list of the things that you already have that were once goals - all the things in your day you can do, the activities and people of your life that you are most grateful for, the resources you already have available to you. Add to this list ever day - write down at least one thing you are glad about every day.
Learn to identify cognitive distortions - The more our thoughts about ourselves are distorted / incorrect, the harder it is to like, love and accept ourselves and / or others.
Compete with yourself, not others - People with healthy self-esteem compete only with themselves. The less self-assured person feels compelled to equal or surpass his colleagues' success because they equate their self-esteem with success, and hence feel threatened with someone more successful. They endlessly seek approval and applause, feel happy when they get it or devastated when they fail or are criticized.
The Importance of Good Self-esteem
Self-Acceptance
it is simply a recognition of who we are. As Dr. David D Burns says, "We need to learn to accept and love ourselves as a flawed and imperfect human. We need to accept our strengths as well as our weakness without a sense of shame or embarrassment." It is foolish to deny our shortcomings since it helps us to empathize and connect with others. After all, for example, if you've never felt embarrassed or foolish how can you genuinely care for and understand someone who has? This is why self-acceptance is at the core, and the first and most important step we need to take to enhance our self-esteem
Relationships
People who feel that they are likable and lovable (in other words people with good self-esteem) have better relationships. They are more likely to ask for help and support from friends and family when they need it.
How we look at our self also decides how we believe people judge us. This is why many with low self-esteem get stuck - if we don't like or love ourselves, it's easier to believe that others will not too. Or it can make us defensive and feel like we are being criticized when we are not.
Behavior
Low self-esteem fosters many unhealthy behaviors. Even though we might become aware of these behavioral problems, it's often a Herculean task to change them unless the root of the problem (the warped self-esteem) is not dealt with first.
An example: Perfectionists try to hold themselves to a higher standard than others because they fear criticism and seek approval due to which they often procrastinate, fear away from taking risks or are late in completing tasks.
Since their concept of self-esteem is based on getting 'outside' approvals (i.e. they feel good about themselves only when people whom they like and respect 'approve' them), unless they work on correcting this warped idea, they'll have great difficulty in changing their behavioral problems.
All the best
